I love what I do professionally. Work has been and is an important part of my identity. It defines many facets of my life and parts of my life goals.
My stress comes from work and dissipates with work.
It was all going like a dream, until I became a parent. My universe shifted light years once I hit parenthood. Believe me, I’ve tried to be a plant parent multiple times to almost never succeed except with some low maintenance ones which somehow survived the wrath of my negligence (or lack of attention if you may).
In hindsight, I refused to believe when others told me about it. It seems almost impossible when someone tells you your world will change, your priorities will change, most of it will change once you become a parent. I didn’t believe it, knowing I was different. I had a pretty good relationship with my work and my side hustles leaving enough time to balance out everything else I wanted to do. But, boy was I wrong.
Few months after my kiddo was born, I was back at work, bleary eyed yet keeping my sanity to prove my capability. If I ever needed to take time off to care for my kiddo, I dreaded disclosing the reason at work. Parents will know its not uncommon, as something or the other always keeps you on your toes. Despite vocal and supportive peers, who shared stories of their kids, I still felt pressure to act like nothing had changed.
Work had always come first. But, back at work as a parent took a toll on me and my mental health. I was always anxious, because I couldn’t control my life events, my time, or my plans and roadmaps. Nothing seemed to be in control. And I was a control freak.
All this made me feel I was an unreliable professional who always had an excuse at hand. I tried my best to never bring up my kiddo in any circumstances and I would have never talked or written something like this earlier.
That was when pandemic hit. Through work calls I realized, I really wasn’t alone.
It wasn’t just me whose life was an uncontrollable epiphany of events which seemed so bizarre no amount of planning could help.
Through work calls I saw several pets on camera doing crazy nothings or clicking away. I saw kids arguing, screaming into mics…